Scottish Gaelic Storytime

Just ( direach ) out of boredom, Teague sat at his desk ( am bòrd aige ) writing a poem. He had never written a poem ( òran, OR dàn ); however, he was willing to try after finding out that his name means ‘poetry writer’. Not that he put much trust in Google searches, but he had nothing better to do at his job ( obair ). He had followed all advice to ill-effect. He was stuck in middle management with no ambition except perhaps to end it with a quick swallow ( balgam ) , or a bullet ( peilar ).

‘I’m depressed ( brònach ),’ he said, ‘so, poetry should come easily. ( Bu choir do bhàrdachd tighinn gu furasta ) ’ He jotted down a line.

With sun-kissed leaves in a clay pot

‘How does one even do this?’ He put the pen down. He was not sure that which he had wanted to write, but he knew that talking about nature ( nàdair ) was not it. He lived in a third-floor apartment, and had a patio the size of his closet which was so small that he used a dresser instead. His phone rang ( chuir ).

Hello ( Feasgar math, OR Hàlo ). Mr. Allanach here.’ He pronounced every letter in his last name as he had been taught. He hated it even now, and could hear the people, especially children, jeer at him.

                             What kind of name is that? ( Dè an seòrsa ainm a th’ann ? )

                              Allanach? That’s not a real name. ( Allanach? Chan eil e fior ainm! )

                              What kind of white shit is that?

                              Who the fuck has that as a last name?

                              I’m gonna butcher it, so forgive me.

                              I’m not even going to try to say it.

                              Mr. Allan? Allan-natch? What’s the difference?

The caller, his distant boss who sat 20 feet away, but could not bear to walk, dictated how she ( i ) was going to leave early, and that she had emailed Teague a few forms ( nam foirmean ) that needed to be finished before he ( e ) could leave that day since she really needed them by tomorrow.

Sure. ( Cuiridh )’ Teague did not have any one to wait for him at home, so what would a few more hours of work prove to waste? He glanced at the forms which he was not surprised ( iongnadh ) to find that they were in her job description, and not his. Funny how those above give work to those below, but they ( iad )refuse to admit it.


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