Tea Time Ruminations: Dieting

Tea: A melange of dandelion, garlic, and rosemary. It is not that delicious, but it is healthy.

Commonly resolved every new year is the aim to lose weight. I am one of those people. Having gained 30 lbs. in three years with my boyfriend, I am the epitome of typical gayness — I believe the children refer to it as “thicc”– in a relationship. I am down a few pounds, but not too much in two weeks. Here are my thoughts of being vegan thus far:

1) Vegan substitutes annoy me on linguistic grounds. It is not bacon of any type. Bacon specifically refers to the ham of a pig — from Old High German ‘bacho’ referring to back of swine, and also one of the few words that originated in a Germanic language that Latin took, and then gave back to a Germanic language… –. Now, boyfriend being from the Middle East grew up eating turkey bacon, beef bacon, and other types of bacons. I suppose that the argument could be made to include these if they come from the belly/back of said animal as bacon does on a pig. For those about to message with ‘Language evolves!’ I counter with language is an arbitrary tool used by a community based on agreed-upon meanings. I, therefore, refer to these substances as (item) of lies. Having said that, bacon of lies is actually pretty good. It has the tang of bacon, but that is it. That salty/fatty tang, and then nothing. I imagine that this is how bacon strips taste to dogs in all honesty. It does cut the cravings for red meat down quite a lot though.

2. Cheese. I miss thee. Vegan cheeses are a bandaid over a loss limb. I eat them regularly now; however, I crave the salt crystals, and creaminess of cheese. Why? Vegans on the web state that cheese is addictive, and that is fine, and good because I am willing addicted to you.

3. Soda. This I have to admit completely my failure as a citizen. Coca-Cola is vegan. It turns out though that they do not have a good history with worker’s rights, and pay. I would not have known this if I did not have a breakdown, and research if it were vegan. I want to thank the vegan community for teaching me this. I need to be more aware of my companies. The weaning off has begun; nevertheless, I am more addicted to soda than I have ever been to cigarettes, or to alcohol.

4. My relationship is doing better — not that it was bad, no worries there –. We can eat off the same plate. Boyfriend having a good allergy ceases to be a problem ( he is allergic to red meat). There is more giving to each other with food. I am foodie, so this means a lot.

5. Time to cook has gone up. Most vegan meals are like, ‘soak these cashews for twenty years of full moons’. It takes a while. I am now having to carve out time to cook in a new way. This has caused me to eat regularly, but not necessarily eat that which I want to eat every night. I may begin the day with ‘I want eggplant parmigiana of lies for dinner’, but by the end of the day, I might just want a sandwich. Boyfriend has already cut, and dressed the eggplant though, so I eat that. In all honesty, that is fine. His eggplant parmigiana is amazing.

6. Energy levels have also stabilised. This means though at a certain time, I am finished. This would be good if I had a non-customer service job, but sometimes I need a couple hours more of work. I am trying to find quick energy pulses.

7. Finally, I am in love with baba ganoush. I could eat this every day for the rest of my life. The smokiness, and chunky creamy mixture is divinely inspired. Luckily, eggplants were available in the Middle Ages. When I finish my two months of veganism, and go back to my mediaeval diet, I can keep this one!

I am enjoying the changes even though some are frustrating. I want to keep this up for another 6 weeks, so fingers crossed.

I hope everyone’s resolutions are going well.

Be safe. Be loved.

-J.A. Victor Wilson

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