Tea: Mint. I have been addicted to it since the last post.
Meditation, as the concept of intentional thought, or lack of thought, has been something that I have picked up, and put down quite often in my life. In high-school, I would roll out a specific blanket — one that my cunt-of-a-grandmother made —, light a few candles, and aim for clear thought. Whilst that did work for me for a bit, I found that I was distancing myself from my physical life. This may be the aim for the gurus out there, but I enjoy the physical realm — [insert arrogant individuals saying something to the effect of ‘You’re just not that enlightened’/’You’re a lesser soul’] —. I enjoy the multiple senses which we have.
I want to aim for the awareness, but productivity. I have no interest in becoming a Buddha, Mohammed, Jesus, or any semi-historical individual that is wrapped in myths. I aim to be Brynhildr, Sigfreid, or Beowulf. People who were wise in their ways, but still maintained humanity. I want to aim for perfect imperfection, I suppose.
What steps to take for this? Well, I have been writing poetry oftener than before, and I make sure to enjoy the silence. My friends will especially know that I have a horrid habit of filling silence with any useless, and banal factoid which I can drum up in a second. I have started arguments just to fill silence. That, my dear ruminants, is not the aim for my life.
I have re-organised my life in a way that I hope eases my goal.
- Choosing two languages, and sticking with them for one full year.
- Having regular days off for writing…and actually writing.
- 14,000 words/week in prose
- One poem/week in rough draft
- 6 books/month (4 Western Canon ones, 1 in a foreign language, 1 contemporary)
- Meditate daily for 10 mins.
- Have sex with my boyfriend oftener…which I am sure that he would welcome this.
- Drink one shot of scotch a month — I miss scotch.
- The biggest challenge: working out.
I am going to have to learn time management again: I have just been floating with my last job…which I have left due to massive lies told to me by management. Curse on them.
I never said anything about being more positive.
I do wish everyone well especially in this introspective weather/season of ours in the Northern Hemisphere. In the Southern Hemisphere, I hope everyone is revving up for a wild summer in a few months.
Either way, I say: be safe; be loved.
-J.A. Victor Wilson