Tea Time Rumination: Focus

Tea: Back to garlic infusion it seems. Whenever I give this up, I get sick.

Song:  I am actually listening to a podcast a friend recommended. The Serpent Cast is a spirituality podcast. It is not quite my flavour, but it sparks some interesting thoughts in my head as a writer.

 

I move soon. Within a few weeks, I will be living even farther south…when all I want is a proper winter. Boyfriend goes to U of Houston, and wants to take in-class courses. I, therefore, am left with a city where I do not really want to be — though it is by far my favourite in all of Texas —, and a city full of distractions. I need to re-learn focus. I am great a setting goals. I am even better at failing at them.

This may seem counter-intuitive on a mind-purge blog, but focus is something that I want in my life. I am coming up to my 30th birthday — woot! Womb class of ’88 —, and I have my skills which I have worked to maintain. I am left, however, with the next step.

Do I focus on my desire to be a language professor, or writer? 10pp a day in fiction, or in research? Do I want to be a scholar who writes, or a writer-scholar? These questions pop up whenever turmoil, both minor and major, enter into my life. I want, therefore, a codified list…another list…of my major project I want to finish by 35.

  1. Dancing the Waltz: An American orphan adopted by a British woman tries as an adult to figure out what does having a nationality mean in a post-national world?
  2. Les lettres d’amoureux: Letters between King Arthur, and Lancelot, and other letters amongst their intimates.
  3. Untitled: A book written in a target language about a person learning the language.
  4. My research proposal: Socio-linguistic identities in the British Isles throughout history with a focus on dead languages — Norn, for instance —, and how the forms the identities in Britain today.

 

Here one has my list of my major projects. I do this because, those who have reached out to me, I am forced to hold myself accountable to you.

On the focus aspect, I want to — after spending five minutes or so bullshitting around — be (pardon the split infinitive) that person who has incredible focus. I will have to become him, I suppose. Oh damn. I have to live the way I want to be. It is a hard knock life.

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