The Seventh: August, a month long rumination

Tea Time Ruminations:

August’s Thoughts

Emotional need: this is a touchy subject with many, me amongst them. Someone close to me needs space. What does that mean for us? The type of person who I am demands supernova level intensity for the life of an electron, and, as matter can neither be created, nor destroyed, my basic scientific understanding says that an electron exists for quite a while.

I speak in haste quite often, and definitely oftener than I should. I go for higher, and esoteric meanings whilst most of my friends go for the connotations most readily available. I understand, therefore, my connections with others tends to the higher, and the esoteric, leading to miscommunications, and ‘þweorspeak’—I am practicing my Anglish—, yet I emotionally need the higher, and esoteric.

My friend though, he needs the space. He needs the picking of one flower, whereas I want the whole meadow. How does his emotional need connect to his personality? Being far more present than I, he needs physicalities for experience: I need the analysis, he the evidence.

I am sure myriads of people have properly comparative friendship issues, so I doubt not that it is unnatural. I, thus, also wonder those which make us have different needs: parental relations—[insert requisite, and stereotypical Freud comment]—, astrology, diet, culture, birth order, or any of the infinite complexities of humanity. These needs which we, all humans, have dictate all aspects of our respective lives.

‘Neediness’ is shamed counter-intuitively, however. We, including I, see individuals who exhibit traits, and call it ‘needy’. We all have needs, and, f someone needs affirmation of affection, who are we to criticise? Is it the ‘need’ for critique of those who exhibit traits openly that we, ourselves, secretly inhibit? Do we stigmatize others for simply being mirrors of ourselves? Perchance we, as humans, fear mirrors: this explains our obsession with them in our literature, and mythology.

I find the mirror imagery as uncomfortable as any other. One scene that pops into my head is the magical mirror of the Oracles in Neverending Story—Stooooooooorrrrryyyyyyy!—where one, and the characters find out that the protagonist, and the hero are on in the same. This emotional revelation derives from the emotional need of the protagonist to realise that he is a valid, and stong individual, that which had been forgotten as his mother recently died.

I, therefore, ponder which revelation I need, which my friend needs, and which the friendship needs.

Another friend needs the attention of a certain male. Is she any weaker for needing the attention of another? I, biased as I am, venture to say, ‘No’. There be several issues with attaching, unwarranted as it may be, one title such as ‘weak’ to a human who simply wants acknowledgement. Einstein needed acknowledgement from others, Homer as well, and Joyce, Thomas, Byron, and Burns too; yet we attach ‘weak’ to any who need the emotional variety of ‘need’.

Is our purpose on this pebble skipping through space to find a purpose, a need, or a drive? Are each different to fill a universe’s need?

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